Shikamaru's Emptiness
by wRiter Reverie
Summary: ShikaIno. Can this even be considered a romance...? Oh well. Hope you enjoy!


Disclaimer: Obviously, this author and work is not affiliated with the official Naruto stuff or any of its owners since a ShikaIno relationship does not exist at all in the original manga and anime.

So begins the story. I hope you enjoy!

-begin-

Shikamaru felt empty. There, sweating under the covers of his bed, he tried to still his movement and will himself into sleep. Try as he might, though, Sleep did not come to fill that void; for Sleep was not interested in visiting his bed that night. Nope! Love wanted in, and it demanded Shikamaru's attention.

The poor boy heard his heartbeat knocking entrancingly against the back of his head; his brain itched along every surface and crevice; and his back heated up unbearably against the mattress. He tried to turn himself over and his back to Love, yet the troublesome stranger lingered no matter how he tried.

What could he do? He felt ever so strangely _empty_ – there was no other way to describe it! He felt incomplete and alone, like he wasn't with himself, or like a part of him had decided to take up and leave. His heart beat desperately as if it lost one half and now needed to do double-duty to make up for lost muscle. The sheets, soaked from profuse sweat, clung to his bare arms and legs. Ugh! The darkness seemed so infinite and he felt even more alone. He needed somebody to be here! Or Sleep! But he had neither.

So the night passed… troublesomely without Love or Sleep.

----

Lethargy came in the morning. Shikamaru usually welcomed that, however it brought a friend this morning: Fatigue. He would have easily obeyed them, except that Sleep was still no where to be found. Plus, his mother sent Discipline into his room, sending him down to breakfast and out the door to training.

All the while, from the bedroom to the bathroom, and from the bathroom to breakfast, Shikamaru dwelled over this sudden surge of 'emotion' that overtook his body and drove away Sleep, his old friend. He felt horrible and troubled, for he knew what Love wanted him to do.

Perhaps he would obey. He wanted to. He's been wanting to. If only Love could chase away Pride as well as it did Sleep, for the minute he stepped out of the solitude of home into the society of humanity, his attitude changed remarkably. His emotional surge took a plunge. No longer did Love seize him by the throat, but instead, whispered lightly in his ear. Pride and Sloth draped their arms around his shoulders like relentless peers. In this fashion, Shikamaru proceeded to training. By the time he reached his teammates, he felt no pang of regret or remorse at the indifference that he would assume for the remainder of the day. In fact, he felt inwardly embarrassed at being so convinced in the night and morning that he wanted so badly to obey Love.

"Hey Chouji. Hey Ino."

He made eye-contact with Chouji most of the time, throwing only a flashing glance at Ino. It was rational to act the way he did: he was Chouji's childhood friend, after all, and Ino was just someone else; no need to send so much attention her way. Shikamaru wasn't stupid – he knew how to feign non-interest. He almost considered it an art, since one couldn't act too uninterested and over-avoid the target. Shikamaru would have been more proud of his accomplishment if it gave him more happiness and less trouble.

Training was an uneventful routine. Many quick furtive glances were stolen in Ino's direction, nonetheless he kept most of his focus and conversation on Chouji. There was plenty to say, yet not much to talk about. But friends have an easy way with words. The same couldn't be said if he were conversing with Ino.

After training they went home. They dropped off Chouji first, like usual, and then Shikamaru proceeded to go home by himself. It was rational to do that: he wanted to go home and it would be too troublesome to walk Ino home, especially since she wasn't a friend.

Maybe Love whispered louder that day, because Shikamaru realized the pointlessness of lying to himself. The truth is: he _didn't_ want to go home and it _wouldn't_ be troublesome at all to walk Ino home, especially since she _was_ a friend.

So he walked her home.

She didn't say much. Apparently she mind it much or appreciate it much. She appeared as indifferent about it as Shikamaru did, sporting her usual smile while he sported his usual scowl.

Love whispered again and Shikamaru decided that it was pointless to walk all this way in silence. Even if conversation was difficult.

"So… what's up?"

"Oh, not much!"

"Okay."

Silence arrived. Thankfully Love quickly chased it away.

"Is your dad excited that you are a chuunin now?" asked Ino.

"He's excited… I guess. I think Asuma's more excited about it than my dad."

"Yeah, he's been bragging to everybody about it. Especially to Kakashi since everyone thought Sasuke was going to get it."

"Hm…" _Sasuke._

"I hope he doesn't go crazy over it, I mean Sasuke over not becoming a chuunin and after fighting that Sand genin. I mean, Sasuke doesn't seem very stable."

Shikamaru scoffed.

"You're that worried about Sasuke?"

"What kind of a question is that? Of course, I'm worried about Sasuke! I thought you wouldn't be surprised after how much I talk about him everyday."

"I meant that you seemed to be worried _a lot_ about him. I don't know – it seemed a bit too much…"

"Hm… I guess that's what happens when you fall in love."

Shikamaru scoffed again and smirked.

"Love? You like his looks. Don't kid yourself."

"It's hard to explain Shikamaru. But that's the way I feel. There are nights when I just feel empty and alone and I just wish that he were there with me!"

"Don't get too defensive. I just thought it was only a crush. I was a little surprised that you cared that much."

"How could it be just a crush? I think about him all day, all the time. I talk about him, try to impress him, see him, talk to him – anything with him! How can you think that it's just a crush and nothing more? Haven't you been in love before?"

"I had a crush once. But it was simply a crush."

"Oh really?" Ino was suddenly interested. "Enough talk on my side. Your turn."

"…forget it. But how can you think that you are in love? You're only thirteen! Your life is ahead of you. You don't even know Sasuke… what makes you so sure that it is love? What makes you so sure that it isn't just attraction and the effects of adolescent hormones?"

"Shikamaru… I could lie and say that I'm not in love with Sasuke because it isn't rational. But that's the way I feel and I can't lie to myself. It may seem foolish to you, but it makes all the sense in the world to me."

They reached Ino's home.

"Bye Shikamaru!"

"See ya."

Shikamaru walked off with his back to the girl and with one casual hand in the air. He wasn't just saying farewell to Ino but to the Pride that was departing as well. His heart began to thump with heightened fervor while sweat invaded his chest and back.

What he felt toward Ino couldn't be love. He barely knew her before they were assigned on the same team, regardless of family relations. She was pretty – very pretty; therefore what he felt toward could be nothing other than attraction and the effects of adolescent hormones. It was simply a crush. He was only thirteen after all. He had his whole life ahead of him.

All the same, he knew that Sleep would not stop by tonight either. Instead, there would only be Love crying at his bedside.

-end-


End file.
